Are the kids trying to drive me crazy on purpose.....?

Now as I sit here trying my best to write, my three year old is in my face. Now it could be a combination of Auntie flows impending visit (nickname for menstrual cycle) but I have a lot less patience for my kids lately.

Sometimes it feels like they are purposely trying to drive me crazy.

It's like they have conspired together and said, "let's get mommy!". I think that sometimes they believe it is their duty to keep me on my feet all day. If I attempt to do anything, and I mean anything for myself, they block it. If I sit down with a cup of coffee, all of a sudden someone is thirsty. If I try to write, or do homework, well then someone has to wash their hands or go to the bathroom, or wants a book read... You get the idea? If I attempt to use the toilet, then all of a sudden they have to use it also.

I can't win!

If I have the audacity to turn from their program on television, then it's a straight up war. They whine, they beg, and then they make so much noise (under the pretense of playing) that I can't even hear my program. Even in the car, it's question after question, after question..... If I look as though I may be enjoying a particular song on the radio, and begin to sing. Well then all of a sudden they burst into a Barney song, or a song from the Fresh Beat Band at the top of their lungs! I mean it's loud people. I swear if I hear "let's come together.." from the Fresh Beat Band one more time, I'll literally scream! By the way what is with this group? Nothing but a bunch of grown-ass people pretending to be kids, especially that tall goofy one...

If my husband and I attempt to have a conversation, they interrupt with questions and attempt to talk over me. If I go in my room for a minute of silence, then here they come. If I go downstairs to put clothes in the dryer, they are at the top of the stairs, demanding something be done for them. "I want a snack! I want something to drink!, Can we go somewhere?" It DOES NOT STOP! It's all day, and I feel like a damn maid to my own kids! When I say I don't watch television, I really mean to say I'm not allowed to watch television. My kids have monopolized every part of my life. Even when I try to pray in the morning, I can hear them knocking on the door, asking me what I'm doing.

Do they love me that much, or is it a conspiracy to drive me crazy? I'm beginning to wonder.....

Just sitting here writing this, I've had to tell each of them "goodbye" five times, because now all of a sudden they want to lay on me and hug me. I tell you, these kids know exactly what their doing. Now my husband? They don't bother him. He comes home, and shuts off their show, they whine a bit, and then go play in their room. They walk PAST him, to ask me to do something for them. Hubby says I'm the crazy one for letting them run me, and he's probably right.

They worry me so much, that by bedtime, I'm like a crackhead waiting for her supplier. I'm watching the clock, my hands are shaking, I can almost taste bedtime. I used to enjoy reading the stories, and tucking them into bed. But now? You should hear how fast I read those books, IF they are lucky enough to get a story read. I'm skipping over pages and making up my own words.... Oh and the silence I receive after they are in bed? As my three year old says "Oh my Jesus!" it's so sweet! It's better than sex.....

Should I feel that good, that my kids have gone to bed? Should I feel that happy, that I don't have to interact with them? I thought I was supposed to become a better, more patient parent as they grew older. I feel like I've gotten worse!

Do you know how many times, the word "SHUT UP!" has been on the edge of my lips, I mean the very tip of my tongue, ready to escape? Or how many times I have actually said out loud "BECAUSE I SAID SO!"? I had always prided myself on answering and explaining every question, but now? After I've explained why they can't have candy for breakfast for the hundredth time, I find myself yelling (yes yelling) "BECAUSE I SAID SO!". Okay and I will admit to you, I've said "shut up" out loud, waaaay under my breath, where they couldn't hear me. A very small, quiet, but satisfying "shut up".

I think at any moment the word "SHUT UP!" will truly escape these confines, and then I will truly become my mother. We think we are so smart with our books and new-aged ways of parenting, but maybe our parents had the inside track. Maybe their way WAS the best way. Cause I guarantee you, my mama didn't LET her kids drive her this crazy. Oh, and she definitely used the word "shut up".

Questions today?

Do you think the parenting concepts of our generation are causing more stress on us the parents, than the ones of previous generations?