Marriage misconceptions

Okay, like most women out there, I had a LOT of preconceived notions about marriage. I couldn't wait to get married! Guilt free sex, constant companionship, and I truly loved my mate. Yeah I knew it was hard work, and everyone told me that things change. Yet, you know how you are at that stage... You think, "yeah, not us", or "we'll always keep that spark alive!". Well five years and two kids later, I must say that while the spark hasn't died, it sure is flickering! Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and kids, but do you ever just get tired? Tired of being a wife and mother? I feel more like the housekeeper/babysitter, than a wife. Sometimes it feels like everyone else, gets to do exactly what they want, while I'm stuck compromising. Is that what marriage and motherhood is, one big compromise?

Have mothers down through the years, experienced and dealt with these same problems? I'm a stay-at-home mom, and believe me, not by choice. What people don't realize is that most stay-at-home mom's or as they call us "sahm", are at home because we can't afford to put the kids in daycare. The cost to put two kids in daycare, and then commuting to work just doesn't make it worth it. So I do what I can to bring extra money in, while at home. Believe me, the amount of money your paid, for things like babysitting or working night retail work, is VERY little. Getting paid amounts like $5 and $8 per hour really has a way of making you feel devalued. Yet any money is money, so I trudge on.

My goal is by the time my children are school-age, I have obtained have either done one or all of the following: Obtained my nursing degree, published a manuscript, or become a registered child care provider. I am well on my way to becoming a registered child care provider, so that feels pretty good. I figure I'm at home, so I might as well make some money. So I work three late, late (by late I mean, I don't get in until 3am) nights per week and I also babysit during the day hours.

Now my husband swears that "I don't know how good I have it", as he golfs every Tuesday and Saturday, while I take care of the kids. Hmmph! Who really has it good?..... Well I need to sign off, and go do some housework. My stepson should be up by noon, yeah you heard me noon! I need to do some reading with the little ones, and then work on my child care packet some more.
It feels good to write, and I hope to be able to work on one of my manuscripts today. It's weird, I really enjoy writing, and once I start, I can't seem to stop. The hard part is just starting.