Mondays coming.....

Ahhhh! I've had an interesting weekend. My husband was off Thursday and Friday which made for a long weekend. I have to give it to him. He can be very inconsiderate sometimes, but he always makes the effort to try and NOT be inconsiderate. He was with me the entire time helping with the kids and it felt really good. It felt like we more like a team rather than just me alone against the kids. Now I know your probably saying "against the kids!" but that's not what I mean. I mean... It was like I had help and they weren't just yelling and whining for "mama" but they were also yelling and whining for "daddy". It was nice. Now my husband doesn't travel a whole lot or even go out that much other than those loooong Saturday golf days but sometimes he can be in the house with me all day and I'm still alone with the kids. Sometimes they will walk right by him and knock on the bathroom door where I am sitting on the toilet and ask me for a snack. Sometimes they will be whining for something over and over again and it's like he tunes it out and doesn't hear anything. Then there are those times when he works on a home project and is either outside or downstairs and its just like he's not here. Those are the times I feel so alone with the kids. Those are the times I long to go home back to my family for some help. Then right when I'm at my breaking point and when I feel like putting my daddy's address in the gps and packing a bag to go home. Those times when I think "what's the use of being married when it's always just me". Those times when I have nothing to look forward to but not being able to contribute financially, taking care of kids, and cleaning the house, well at those times my husband pulls through for me. Sometimes it's something big like "hey sweetie you want to take a nap? I'll watch the kids". Yep for a stay-at-home mother a nap is a BIG thing! Other times it's something small like taking me to the mall and saying "go ahead and get in the van. I'll strap the kids in their seats". The point is that it's always nice to just have help from your husband. They don't have to do it all because lets face it most of us women are control freaks when comes to our household stuff! But just a little help goes a long way in our books. Like cutting up the onion while I'm cooking or just being in the kitchen talking to me while I'm cooking. Most men don't understand that those type of things are foreplay. It's a turn on for me to see my husband reading my babies a book while I get to browse through a magazine!

Towards Saturday evening I was getting a little sad. I think because I know Mondays coming and I won't have anyone here with me it will be just the kids and I. I'm going to miss having my friend in the house with me. I'm going to miss having adult interaction. I just felt like I had nothing to look forward too, no purpose other than to be somebodys nanny, housekeeper and errand girl. On top of that I'm also a little antsy about my stepson coming back this week. It's not that I don't love him but I dread the whole reprogramming thing. Most stepmothers know what I'm talking about. Anytime a stepchild comes back from an extended visit at the other parents home there is a reprogramming period. This is where the child has to be reprogrammed from all the differences in parenting styles and in some cases negativity from the other parents home. The period can be short or in some cases very very long. You have to reaffirm values, rules and routines that expected in your home such as "we don't watch those shows here" or "no, you need to have some water, not juice", "no, you can't eat in your room" or even "we don't speak to each like that in this home". These are usually things the child has had down before they left you, but now must be reprogrammed in him. I'm sure my stepson's tone and demeanor will have to be reprogrammed when he returns. So this is not something I am looking forward to since I spend the majority of the time with him. I'm praying this year for a change in his whole attitude from academics to life. I sometimes find myself simply tolerating him and not wanting to foster a relationship with him because of his attitude and that's something I want to change. Not so much change his attitude because only God can do that but change MY attitude. Sometimes as a stepparent you have to remind yourself that your the adult and you have to take the high road and as a christian you have to take the christian road. So as I embark on another Monday, I'm feeling just a little down but I'm going to have a word of prayer and remind myself of all things that I am blessed with. So Monday is coming but I will try to look at it as a new beginning rather than an ending.

Why do you really dread Monday?

the diva