Being grateful

I've been in sort of a funk this weekend. My little one's (two & three) keep asking "mommy are you happy?" in their little innocent voices. I always say "yes" and then they ask "why?". I respond that "mommy's happy because you guys are healthy". Now then the three year old usually ask if "funny faces will make me happy". Now of course I say "yes", and then he proceeds to do funny faces for me and I proceed to laugh (fake laugh). You want to know the truth though? A lot of times I'm not happy. I'm tired of being home with these kids all day. I'm tired of being mommy with everyone pulling on me to do things. "Can you get me?..." or "I need..."

Sometimes I feel like I want to scream! I think to myself, " I just want to go home" by home, I mean the home I used to have before I married and had babies. In essence "going home" is going back to the past. I wonder if I've made a huge mistake by marrying and having kids and becoming a stepmom or stepmonster as I'm sure my stepson thinks I am.

I just want to go home......

Back to my three bedroom ranch home in MI where I just worried about myself. Where if I cleaned the house, it stayed clean. Where MY family resides. Where Christmas and Thanksgiving is familiar with familiar dishes and traditions. Where MY family have my back at all times and where I feel comfortable and at home. I sometimes wonder if this place will ever feel like home. Will it? I feel so alone sometimes, no friends, no family, no nothing. Just me. BUT then I think about the many things that I am blessed with. I think about the accident I saw on the news where a mother and children were killed. I look at the television commercials where children are starving. I look at the commercials where children and people are dying of cancer and other diseases. I think about how I just received news that a girl I grew up with, just died of cancer. I should be grateful. Grateful that I have a roof over my head, and that my husband has a job. Thankful that while my husbands Saturday golfing irritates me sometimes, at least he's not out creeping and cheatin or knocking me upside the head. Truly thankful that my kids are healthy and I and my husband are healthy. Thankful that while my stepson can be a pain in the ass sometimes, he is definitely not the monster that I read about on some of these stepparent websites (check out some of these stories and you will truly be thankful!).

Being grateful is a task that we should be putting to the front of our mind constantly. We should be teaching our kids to be grateful. My generation and future generations have become big whiners. We whine about what we don't have and we don't thank God for what we do have. We whine because we don't have enough money to buy a new outfit, or get our hair or nails done. There are people out there who don't have the basic needs, such as food and shelter. How horrible it must be as a mother or father to send a child to bed hungry. Or to not be able to provide clothing or a small toy for them. How wonderfully blessed am I! That I have food in my pantry, and refrigerator. That my children have more toys and gadgets that I literally have room to store. That I have enough money to go and simply have a doughnut. We take so many things for granted and we watch our children grow up with this same ungrateful mentality. "It's not fair!" my three year old has begun to whine. Which is the same thing my stepson still whines. These are kids who have everything! Yet they constantly whine about what they don't have. Is this the message we are sending them? Sometimes I feel like such a failure as a mother when I don't give my children a fantastic day. A day filled with all sorts of activities that cost me money. Maybe I am the culprit that sends this false message to my children. Kids today always want to be on the move. "Mom lets go somewhere!" my kids demand. I too also feel like if we don't go somewhere then we haven't done anything. As a kid I don't ever remember "going anywhere" except maybe grocery shopping or the laundromat. Sometimes the occosional trip to Sears. We went outside and found things to do inside. We rode our bikes or played board games. We used our imagination. On those rare occasions that we really went somewhere, like to the circus or to the zoo, we were grateful. We were excited! Look at our kids today. They have $400 video games, along with $60 games. They have boxes and boxes of toys, and they still whine for more. They have cabinets full of DVD's that they don't watch. Yet they whine for more. Ungratefulness.

Simplicity is the key to being gratefull. The reason why our kids don't take care of the things we buy them is because they have an abundance of them. The reason WE don't take care of things we ourselves possess is because we have too much. I remember getting new clothes three times per year. A very small amount when school started the bulk at christmas, and a few things for the summer. The rest were passed down from cousins and older siblings. And you know what? I was grateful at Christmas for those clothes. We got toys also, but usually one or two really special things. The rest was just inexpensive filler like crayons or boardgames. For things like birthdays we received "useful" things like a new coat, or a new outfit that we really wanted. Going out to a restaurant or fast food joint was a huge treat for us. Friday was payday and McDonalds day and the only place I ever remember going. We didn't get Big Mac's and Double sandwiches. We got a cheeseburger, fries and small drink and we were grateful. Kids today go out to eat more than they eat at home, and it's made them ungrateful. They don't even look at the price before they order and they never say "thanks mom or thanks dad". They take these things for granted because they are ungrateful. Our kids don't want to work for anything because we give them too much. Growing up we had a cat but we still had mice. I asked my dad "why isn't Tiger (cat's name) catching all of these mice?" My dad's response "She's not hungy, because you feed her too much". Once we cut back her food she had a NEED to catch mice. You know what else? When I did feed her, the food didn't sit in her bowl as in the past. Now she ran to her food bowl as soon as the food hit the bowl. She was now grateful.

I am going to make a concentrated effort to be more grateful for the things I do have. I am going to make my children more grateful by cutting back their intake. I pledge to be more grateful and not raise ungrateful children.

What about you? Have you thought about what you are truly grateful for? Are your kids grateful?

Black Wonderwoman