Lately I'm feelin so FLY!

Wearing my hair in it's natural state, and I am feeling so FLY!  I just feel so set apart from everyone else, and I can go out in rain, humidity or wind, and not even care!  I twist it up at night with some shea moisture mist and keep it moving!  As I approach forty and am really starting to feel more at peace and confident with myself.  The past few months finally taught me a lesson that I've failed to learn up to this point.  Stop overwhelming myself!  I've been burning the midnight oil for the last few months.  Yall I was working two part time jobs, going to school full time, and still doing the stay-at-home mommy bid during the day, as well as taking care of all the household duties.  All seven days of the week I had something scheduled.  If I wasn't working, I had class, and vice versa.  I was cranky, house was messy, and I was miserable.  Yeah, I know...  I always get into these wonderwoman roles, where I think that I have to do everything, and then I get so burnt out, that I'm yelling at my kids/husband and looking like an old crackhead cuz I don't have time to take care of myself.  Did I mention how messy the house was?  I was sooo stressed.  However I finally finished my two year degree (trying to learn to say that proudly-cuz mama still has self worth issues) and now it's on for my bachelors degree.  Yea for me! 

After that horrific experience I made some decisions.  I quit one of the part time jobs, and kept the most enjoyable one.  I work in retail, and get a fabulous discount.  They worked with me with the hours, and I'm able to dress up and look cute for a few days out the week.  It makes me feel good to be able to add something monetary to the household cuz I still need work in the self worth aspect of being an at-home mommy.  I continue to grow and become more confident in myself and my abilities BUT I'm learning how to say no, and take more time for myself. 

In my current sales position I was offered a full-time manager position, and boy did I struggle on whether to accept.  More money and a title no matter how small means validation!  For a stay-at-home mother validation is BIG.  I had to really think about what I wanted and you know what?  I turned it down.  I tell you guys I'm learning...  I realized that I would be overwhelmed and working all the time, and it would leave little room for schooling and time with the kids.  I am finally getting more comfortable in taking a little time for myself and recognizing that I don't have to do everything and be everything at once.  Just contributing a small amount of money to the household is enough, and I even told them I could only work four days per week, in order to have more time for myself!  This is big for me guys, because I never take time myself.  I used to fill every available hour with something, whether school, or cleaning or doing something with the kids.  The other thing I've stopped doing is taking the kids to all these different activities.  Now I bring my butt home, and relax!  I turn that television off, and tell them to play with all that crap that I bought them in their rooms.  I take them outside in the driveway, and let them blow bubbles, and then I maybe give them an hour of television.  I'm learning that I create my own stress, by trying to do too much.  My new motto is to "keep it simple".  Guess what else I decided?  Once my youngest is in school full time (another year) I'm not going back to work full-time!  Why do we mothers finally reach the enjoyable time of stay-at-homeness, when you get the majority of your day without the kids, do we go back to the full-time jobs.  I'm going to do some substitute teaching, keep going to school, and RELAX! 

Do you guys consistently overwhelm yourselves?  Why?