I need a vacation at home...by myself

I want a vacation.
I want a vacation away from my kids.
I want a vacation away from my husband.
But I want to do it at home…
I’m too tired to pack up and go away on vacation. It’s too much work. First you have to plan your clothes, hair and activities. Then you always have to come back home…to a messy house that you tore up planning your trip. Guys I want hubby and the kids to disappear for a few days, and have the house all to my self. I want to be able to clean and organize to my hearts desire, without worrying about feeding people, or cleaning up before hubby arrives. When I get tired of cleaning I want to go grab something to eat, sit in front of the television and watch crap. I want to go to the mall without kids bugging me to go on those rides that they conveniently place in the center of the mall, which cost $2 for 1 minute of movement. I want to be able to browse in the stores and try things on without my husband asking “are you ready to go?” I want peruse the cosmetics at the Mac counter in Macy’s without the kids chasing each other, and trying to hide under the clothing racks. I mean how many times can you say in your “outside the home” voice to “be still!” and “stop touching!”
When I get home I want eat takeout appetizers and watch all of the red box DVD’s that my husband hates. I want to organize my closet and dresser drawers and then go back to mall to replenish things that I need. I want to try on that new Victoria Secrets bra that guarantees the illusion of big tits. I want to make a grocery list for a month and go grocery shopping all by myself and stock up. I want to have a pap smear without my kids in the room…watching. I don’t want to have to give up the booty so somebody won’t be angry. I want to lie in bed all morning and read and then get up and have a big breakfast without someone saying they no longer like eggs, oatmeal or whatever new thing they decide they no longer like.
What people don’t understand is that vacations away from home aren’t relaxing for us mommies. Cuz we eventually have to come back and we do all the work planning them, and then all the packing. While away we worry about the cost of everything and we are overwhelmed with guilt about the things we should be doing at home. What most people don’t understand is that we don’t mind the cleaning, cooking and house stuff so much as long as we are given the time to properly do it. Cleaning can be quite relaxing when you don’t have kids hanging on to you, and asking for the fifteenth time “can we go somewhere!”

You don’t mind starting a long organizing project when hubby isn’t on his way home expecting dinner or something else….. The worst part about being at home is never feeling like anything gets completely done. That whole “do a room at a time” advice is a bunch of crap! By the time you get one room done its messy and unorganized all over again. No, what we mommies need is a staycation at home where we can work or not work when we feel like it to our hearts content. 
If you had a week off, the house to yourself, no kids/hubby for a week…what would you do?



The diva