The plot thickens....

Yeah, I know. Long time since last post, but let me give you an update anyway. My family size has increased. No, I'm not pregnant! My husbands (teenage) son has come to live with us full time. Now your probably wondering how I feel about this development. Well let me say I have mixed emotions. It has put a lot of extra work on me, and unfortunately with my husbands schedule, a lot of the responsibility falls to me. What I do know for sure, is that this will be good for my stepson. I just have to kinda suck it up, and get with the program.

One thing I'm learning about motherhood is that it's never about you! It's always about the kids, or the husband or the house, but never about you. I gave my gym membership to my husband and stepson, because lets face it, I was never going to get there. Sometimes it's so hard to find a space of time for myself. I'm taking two classes this semester, and I'm behind already. I feel like such a failure sometimes. That is the one thing I miss about working. Being good at something. When I was at work, no matter what job I held, I did it well. Now being a sahm (stay at home mother) it's like I can't get a handle on it. I'm not the perfect mother, not the perfect stepmom, and not the perfect wife. Sometimes the house is messy and cluttered, and sometimes my dinners suck (like my dry lasagna last night). Sometimes my kids sit in front of the tv all day with little interaction from me. Sometimes I look like crap when my husband comes home, and my breath stinks! So much imperfection can make you feel really lousy. How do other sahm's cope?

So I'm not striving for perfection this year, but I am striving to improve. I'm buying healthier foods, and utilizing moderation when feeding my family (I feel so responsible when they eat unhealthy). I'm trying to increase my cardio, and get some exercise in. I have at least one event planned daily for kids that doesn't involve tv. Above all I'm keeping everything very loose and if I choose to deviate from my schedule, then so be it. I'm really going to try to enjoy being home this year, and I'm working on getting my childrens book published this year. I hope to try to post to my blog everyday (which would fulfill my "write everyday obligation I made to myself last year"). I had a birthday on Sunday (37!) and I'm noticing some laugh lines under the eyes! I can't believe I'm 37 and still dealing with a lot of the same insecurities from my twenties.
With that in mind my questions for today are:

Are you still dealing with issues/insecurities in your life from five or more years prior?

How much time do you allow for yourself on a daily basis?

Had motherhood and/or marriage killed your inner diva?

Love ya,

The Diva